Miss Zilch

new one is ready

2009-12-01T10:39:00.003+01:00

http://misszilch.com is up and running, finally. Sorry for the jumping. Blame bluehost.com who deleted my other blog 3 months too early. They really need to learn the difference between "stop my renewal" and "delete my account".

Everything can bite me today

2009-11-28T11:49:00.005+01:00

seriously

Went to bed at 2am, woke up at 7am with massive girl related cramps and haven't been able to go back to sleep. I decided to play around with my new WP domain and theme. LOVE IT however pages, comment pages anything click related refuses to work. I get a 404 error. AARGH! New hosting is totally different than my last one and I personally think it is my stupid ass user error that is causing the problems. But it worked last night, so, eh, dunno.

Then I try to configure my email client (read: vista mail client, the spawn of satan) for my new Fatcow account and whadaya know...it doesn't fucking work so I send in a ticket. Get a response, still doesn't fucking work.

*hair, ripping out*

I go back to my domain and find my whole theme is FUBAR and that is when I lost it. I deleted EVERYTHING and started over. Theme now works, but I am back to the begining (see above sentence describing my dilemma). I am so confuzzled that I could scream.

So I decided to check facebook, and that is all kinds of messed up. Stuff not loading, empty pages, same shit different day. So I figure I will do some homework. Go to the school website to pull up the assignment on the wonder that is It's learning (sarcasm) and whadaya know...IT ISN'T FUCKING WORKING!!!!!!!
That is why I lost it, again!

And we wonder why people have nervous breakdowns and take hostages! teh interwebs sukz!

Getting it together slowly

2009-11-26T08:52:00.001+01:00

So I have FINALLY gotten my domain up and wordpress installed. Now I am working on the site, which will, more than likely, look a lot like this one only with the lovely addons that wordpress is famous for. Hence my question:

What addons do you use, recommend, blah blah? Since my lovely hosting for last time DELETED my account 4 months early I can't copy over my addons. Any suggestions would be helpful.

/smooches/

pulling hair out

2009-11-25T10:28:00.002+01:00

okay, so I bought a domain and hosting. I installed wordpress and.....nothing.

I got nothing.

Then I remembered, I didn't do the installation for my last blog. A kind, no-longer-blogging-friend did it for me and now I don't know how to do what I need to do to get wordpress working.

Anyone use fatcow who can help me?

Swine Flu?

2009-11-23T07:27:00.002+01:00

nope, I don't have it. I have donkey flu, because I feel like ass!

back to bed...........or to the couch since TBS is snoring.

Queen of Procrastination

2009-11-22T18:05:00.004+01:00

As I sit here watching my Charmed Boxset, typing in my blog and drinking water from my soda streamer with raspberry funlight and tanqueray 10 I really should be reading the rest of the 13 chapters that need to be finished by tomorrow, but I am the queen of procrastination.

procrastination...
pro....crast...i....nation...

proooooooooooo.....craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaast.....

yeah yeah, you get it.

*drums fingers*

fine fine...Back to my book.

I miss

2009-11-21T23:39:00.002+01:00

WORDPRESS!!!

yep, I will be rectifying this shortly!!

Ethnic Humor 101

2009-11-20T17:18:00.001+01:00

Confucius say....

If you can't find the book you want

You're probably in the

Not so awesome

2009-11-20T11:06:00.004+01:00

coughing and hacking all night
that feeling of whatever is in your throat is going to choke you if you don't expel it
finally falling asleep at 4am after taking 3 doses of Nyquil.
waking up slightly when TBS got home at 7ish
waking up fully at 7:40am to a text message
not having the energy (or the supplies handy) to put a curse on the texter
realizing that I have 11 chapters to read in Gender: A Sociological Reader by Monday.

which isn't as bad as

the 13 chapters I should read in the other two books by last week.
Realizing that xmas is just around the corner and I haven't gotten anything for TBS

I was wondering what happened

2009-11-14T15:37:00.000+01:00

Where suck has been used so much that is has lost all meaning

2009-11-11T11:51:00.000+01:00

2 papers, 600 words each with documentation. While it may not seem like much, remember I am thirty….hmmm….I am old and haven’t been in college since I was in my early 20’s and my teacher never really EXPLAINED anything. She just sat and summarized the chapters for us, putting the Em-faus-iss on the wrong sy-laub-bell whiiiiich by the by were on Economic Sociology. So…when test time rolled around, my brain shut off, for protective reasons I am sure.

At one point I was sure there was a green cloud of stench coming from my “Explain the differences between the migrant integration discourses” and that the burning sensation I was feeling wasn’t a yeast infection, it was the “Human and social capital as in relation to the Swedish labor market” paper that was burning my ass.

At another point during the intensive writing fever I was sure was going to envelop me Saturday evening, I was walking through the apartment muttering “it sucks it sucks it all sucks. sucks sucks sucks” and checking Websters Dictionary to see if my essays were pictured next to the word “suck”. They weren’t but I am positive that my teacher is on the phone with the good people at Websters Dictionary Headquarters telling them all about my essays suckinesses.

Monday morning I woke up feeling pretty okay about the work I had done. I had one essay done and was confident that its level of suckage was not as horrible as the dream I was having about being chased by my paper and pen (the bastard turned on me) through the halls of school with my teacher was in every doorway screaming “DEVIL-LOPED!!!” (instead of developed), but the second essay, well, that was a different story. So what did I do? In my brilliant attempt to save my paper I trashed it and started anew. On MONDAY! Due TUESDAY!

I am pleased to say that I have turned in the essays. Got up on Tuesday morning with the intention of rereading them but I stopped myself, put them in a folder, put the folder in my backpack and left for school where I promptly put them in the test-turn-in-box-thingy. Not felling too confident about the essays. I still believe the uttering “it sucks it sucks it all sucks” is relevant.

‘Now it is on to a new module–Identity and Community which deals with ethnicity, gender, nationalism, religion…I am sure the word suck will be thrown around again.

The Flintstones

2009-10-07T11:54:00.000+02:00

Me(walking into the living room): Do you know when we turn in the Caveman Presentation

TBS: The Caveman Presentation?

Me: ooh, yeah, guess I was dreaming. I..will..hmm…go back to bed.

Accruacy is not sexy

2009-08-28T01:19:00.002+02:00

TBS: Hey, where is the BBQ sauce??
Miss Zilch (on the phone with her mother): In the fridge.
TBS: Why did you put it there?
Miss Zilch: Because it says “refrigerate after opening” so I put it in the fridge after opening.
TBS: Well, I looked for it. I didn’t see it.
Miss Zilch: *walks over to the fridge, opens it, bends over, moves one bottle from the the door, picks up the BBQ sauce and places it on the counter*
TBS: ooh I looked but didn’t see it.
Miss Zilch: yeah you looked. Just like a guy, don’t move anything, don’t bend over.
TBS: Stop being so accurate! Give me a chance!
Momma Zilch: *lol*

Things that brighten my day

2009-01-22T16:11:00.001+01:00

Coming home to TBS sleeping soundly
My little semi-white kittie Zoe looking so sweet when she is sleeping on top of the tv, cable box, cable router or footstool up against the radiator.
Flopping down on the couch, flinging my bra across the room and covering up with my blanket.
Fixing a dinner that turns out better than I thought it would.
The Tele2 commercials with the sheep (totally a Swedish thing. A lot of Swedes say “sheep” when they mean “cheap” so since the company uses sheep in their commercials. It is funny.)
A little nap midday
Talking to my mommy
Phone calls from friends
Kissies from TBS

yeah, all that after a bad day can make any day turn around.

He adoors(sic) me

2009-01-21T16:08:00.001+01:00

I love him. I really do but there are times when I just want to smack him in the back of the head and say “WTF were you thinking?”

This is one of those times.

We live in an apartment complex. You have a code to enter downstairs (that only works from7am-9pm but THAT is another story) or one may use a key and we walk up 1 flight. We have a normal door in that it has two locks outside but once you are in, there is one lock. Our locks look like skeleton key locks because, well, it is a wooden door not a security door so naturally we hear everything that goes on in the outer hallway. One day, we plan on buying a security door like all the other grown-ups. That will be saaaweeet!

Since moving here there have been some mishaps. Since there are two locks outside and one inside, that means if you leave and lock both locks, you better hope the other person isn’t inside because they are not going to be able to leave. This has happened 2 or three times. Once I was meeting a friend and she had to come over, I slipped the key through the mail slot in the door and she let me out. Yeah, That was fun. The other times I have just stayed in the apartment plotting my revenge.

The normal routine is that the first one home locks the door and puts their key in their pocket or on the table. The second one home locks the door and leaves the key in there, slightly turned so that if someone wanted to break in they would have a hard time getting a master key in that lock. That is the plan. That is the normal routine. That is not what happened the other day. The other day has me laughing now but…well….

I went to the store after TBS and I had a late lunch. He came home to finish getting ready for work, or so I thought. I climb up the 40000 stairs with my bags, stick my key in the lock and hit something. hmm….I knock on the door. I look in the keyhole to see if I can jiggle the key out. I drop the groceries. I bang on the door. Upstairs neighbours come down the steps and ask if I am okay. I say, yeah, but my boyfriend is home and has the key in the door and I can’t get in. They laugh. I smirk. They move on. At this point I am sweating because it is 5F outside and 500F inside and I am in my winter attire. I look in the mail slot and what do I see? TBS's legs on the bed, tapping to the beat of music. He is sitting on the bed, reading with his HEADPHONES ON! He can’t hear me! I lay my palm on the doorbell for FIVE MINUTES before he finally hears “something odd” and takes off the headphones to listen.

Now, you may ask, “Miss Zilch, why didn’t you call him?” and that is a great question. The answer is, because my cell phone was hiding sitting on the coffee table, all alone.

Okay, so that is 5% my fault. See I take partial blame here.
I swear, I love him but the next time I am crackin’ skulls!

Modern Day Nursery Rhyme

2008-10-01T16:04:00.000+02:00

There was an old lady who sat on bus
a crowded bus and made such fuss
She couldn’t move to the door so fast
So she hit Miss Zilch with her cane so she could get passed.

However Miss Zilch could not move her ass
for it seems the bus was packed, we were at an impasse
Did the old lady care? No, not a bit
and hit and hit and hit and hit!

Miss Zilch was pissed, she had a bad day
and she wanted to make this old lady pay
She told her stop, that she couldn’t move
Man that old lady really was rude.

She hit her 5 times, 5 times too many
Miss Zilch looked at her and called her an old biddy.

Finally the bus stopped but the old lady kept hitting
She is lucky Miss Zilch didn’t take that damn cane from her and beat her with it until she apologized for being such a nasty old lady with no manners and no sense of exactly what it means when someone tells you that they can’t move through a crowd of people until they move first!

The End.
Have a nice day.

Top 10

2008-09-15T16:03:00.000+02:00

Top 10 things I would rather be doing than studying

and the number one thing I would rather be doing that studying:

Poking my eyes out with a hot stick.

Hi! I am Miss Zilch and I am fat

2008-05-19T15:48:00.000+02:00

Fat, not dumb.

Fat, not a moron.

Fat doesn’t mean I can’t hear you…

…or see you

Fat doesn’t mean that I am lazy, pathetic, unmotivated, unworthy.

Fat doesn’t mean that you can stare at me when I eat.

Fat doesn’t mean that I sit around all day dreaming of food, eating junk and watching tv. I go to the gym at least 3 times a week thankyouverymuch! How many times does your skinny ass go work out?

Fat doesn’t mean that you can make fun of me. Since when did poking fun at fat people become cool?

Fat doesn’t mean that I am unapproachable and will be mean to you. I thought fat people were looked at as jolly?

Fat doesn’t mean I am rude, hateful or will throw temper tantrum. Can you say the same about yourself?

Fat doesn’t mean that I am unhealthy. Blood pressure, cholesterol, sugar counts all in working order.

and most of all:

Fat doesn’t mean that I won’t make a good employee ESPECIALLY in the land of “ooh I have a hang nail, I need to take 3 weeks of sick leave for it.” “oooh it is 4:59—Everyone needs to leave because I have to shut the doors. I can’t possibly work after 5pm!” or “oooh it is a Saturday and there is no way I can work….wait, why isn’t this store open!? I really need to buy clothes!?”